My love life is shit to say the least. Like I don’t even know if ‘shit’ is a term negative enough to describe it. I either get stupidly attached to losers or don’t give amazing, prince charming-like guys a chance. My first boyfriend was one of those losers. Story time: I came out my freshman year of college. I got my first boyfriend my freshman year of college. Throughout our relationship, my boyfriend had been cheating on me with my best friend. I didn’t find out until after I got dumped.. over text. I’ll probably elaborate on this fantastic experience in another blog post when I’m all up in my feels one night, don’t you worry.
Anyways, I’ve been single for about a year now, and being single gets really lonely and boring. So, I finally gave in and decided to try my luck at.. wait for it.. internet dating. How else am I going to find my prince Charming? I tried Grindr for a while. But the headless torsos, unwanted dick pics, and stupid ass, shallow, pretentious bios kind of scared me away. Now what? How will a little ol’ gay boy like me ever find mister right? Then, just like that, I was introduced to the one and only.. wait for it.. Tinder.
I almost didn’t download it because my first thought was “lmao, so this is like the straight people grindr.” Boy, was I right. Upon downloading it, the first shitty thing I noticed about this app was that I could only use my Facebook pictures. C’mon Tinder, my Facebook pictures are so family-appropriate. Where’s the fun in that? I want to be doing something awesome in my pictures like smoking a joint or doing a keg stand. (Just kidding) (Kind of). Also, why do you even show me the hot guys that swipe left? Way to rub it in my face.. assholes. I do, however, like the little option thing allowing me to calibrate the distance in which I’m willing to meet someone. There’s no way I’m driving over 20 miles for a cup of coffee. Unless you’re Joseph Gordon-Levitt, of course.
And so it goes. My dip into the realm of internet dating has officially begun. I’m sure there will be some sort of update.. unless I end up hating the app, which is always a possibility. By the way, my bio is funny as hell and I can’t see anyone passing it up. I better get some people yessing me, dammit. I also don’t think ‘yessing’ is a word. Just go with it. You know what I mean.